I like American Music, I guess

They tie into each other and as a whole. It might not be what it meant to the writers but it is what it meant to me. I'll link what I can.

1. Violent Femmes- American Music

When I was younger, and even now, there was often a battle over the stereo. No one ever wanted to listen to the same music. However, the one thing my siblings and I always managed to join forces on was, for the love of God, put on the American music. Understanding Arabic music was difficult as a young child because of the differences in dialects. And I didn't like it.

2. Paul Baribeau- Ten Things

I think we needed to be reminded of our mortality in positive ways. Yes, we're going to die. But there's so much you can do and appreciate in the meantime. It's a reminder.

3. Coldplay- Violet Hill

As a child, I thought saying "good night" was a huge commitment and I had trouble saying it. I favored "I'll see you later." "Good night" seemed like even much bigger commitment than loving someone forever. But I can wish people good nights all the time now. Now, I sometimes have trouble letting people know I love them. And hearing or feeling that people love me. Also, that one year, the only thing that was white was the snow.

4. Iron & Wine- Boy With a Coin

God left the ground to circle the earth. I think this song is full of sorrow. I think a lot of the sorrow in our lives is an absence of faith and love.

5. Neutral Milk Hotel- In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

It's important to remember, like with "Ten Things" to enjoy the good things while we have them and to not dwell on what's coming but just to accept it. When we meet again, things will be good.

6. Page France- Finders

I think it behooves us to look for meaning every now and then. It can bring peace. All of the finders will clap their hands.

7. John Mayer- Victoria

I moved away from home when I was seventeen to go to college. I had talked about it a lot when I was younger. I know that's not really that big of a step but I come from a culture where you don't move out unless you're getting married. It's not appropriate otherwise. I went anyway. And I didn't look back. I piled on what I could to keep not looking back.

8. Rocky Votolato- Uppers Aren't Necessary

The chorus mostly says it. We are a family driven by guilt. Unfortunately, I still live by this. But we do what we can to get by. Of course, the rest of the song says quite a bit as well. Eventually, there will be a way home.

9. Sufjan Stevens- For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti

We've been through hard times. But I would still do anything for them.

10. Nickel Creek- Doubting Thomas

My last name is Thomas. The irony is not lost on me. It was a few songs ago while making this CD I realized that most of the songs had themes of loss of faith, death and a search for home and love. I've never had enough faith in my family. I often felt like they didn't have enough faith in me. Regardless, faith extends beyond the people around us. A lot of this song speaks for itself.

11. Obadiah Parker- Hey Ya

Okay, so this song doesn't seem to fit. But when I moved away in 2003, this song had just started to gain popularity. Even my dad recognized it. I think we're a family that lives in denial. We're not happy with our actions and the outcomes and we just keep going. Sometimes, that can be good. Sometimes, not.

12. Chris Bathgate- Sun Moon

My dad used to play guitar a lot more than he does now. He'd write a song for everything. He's written songs about most significant things that have happened in his life and through the course of our family's history. We used to shout out requests without knowing the full story.

13. The Weepies- Can't Go Back Now

Things were easier, in some respects, when I was younger. I didn't have to worry about money or how I was getting somewhere. Sure, I hated my life being dictated for me but it was easier. Or something. But now I'm alone in this world and I can't go back. It was my dad who told me I was alone in this and needed to take care of myself because no one else would. And I can't go back to a time when someone else could do something and make it all better. I've got myself to count on. And that needs to matter.

14. The Corn Fed Girls- Pearlie

People change, of course. But we don't always know why. We can't always see the history. I've kept quite a bit of things in my life from my family. We are a family, or were a family, that doesn't talk about problems. Things happen. In 2004, I found out what made a little boy so mean. I've still held my secrets.

15. The Avett Brothers- Murder in the City

Again, I moved away. But I never wanted them to worry. I remember asking my parents, as I think many kids do, which of us they loved the most. And I remember them saying they loved us all the same, that there was no measure. There is nothing worth sharing like the love that let's us share our name. This is my letter in the desk.

16. Ray Lamontagne- Empty

As a family and as individuals, we've been through a lot. And I get the sense that we often wonder if we'll always feel the way we do. We also had the tendency to relive our hauntings. It is difficult to let go. And so we hold on.

17. The Format- On Your Porch

About ten years ago, my dad was sick. The doctors weren't sure if he would recover or what he had. I spent a lot of time hiding in a tent that summer. I didn't pull the weeds out of my dad's garden and it became overgrown. That was the year we got a computer and the internet and I started writing what I'm embarrassed to call poetry. But my dad got better. He still isn't exactly like he was before. He doesn't have full feeling in his hands and is constantly tired. I'm convinced that he is better because of the love my mother poured on him. And those years were hard. And they still are. My family isn't the most encouraging. I think they mean to. They've never told me that if I fail, I wouldn't fail to them. I imagine it comes down to pride. I imagine they would keep loving me if they could. But I do know that if I fail, it'll still be okay, because I don't think there is much more to lose. At least I gave it a shot. Here's to stepping into the sun. Alone.

18. Eef Barzelay- Lose Big

A continuation. I've decided that regardless of whether I'm supported or not, I'm going to go for the dreams I have. If I'm going to lose, oh, I'll lose big.

19. Death Cab For Cutie- I Will Follow You into the Dark

Part of being Chaldean is being Catholic. Regardless of what happens, I would do anything for my family that is bad at expressing love.

20. Foo Fighters- Home

I have a strong desire to feel like I'm home. Most of the things I do pull me further away. But it's the people I've loved and the things I haven't regretted. Echoes and Silence. Patience and Grace.

21. The Avett Brothers- Will You Return

I am the pretty little gal, with pretty little curls. It's hard to see the beauty sometimes. My parents often ask when I'll come home next and all I can tell them is that I don't know. It's often hard to say the next time I'll be there. It's harder to say the next time I'll feel there. Will I go again? It's hard to say. I surely hope so.

22. Sufjan Stevens- Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

With faith lacking, it is important to remember the things that matter. And I can't always feel at home with my family, there has to be some place. I am quite prone to wander. But I think we all are.