Here’s the progression of how I’ve ended up where I am right now:
January 2009-- I took a friend to her car and she asked what I was going to do the next year. No idea. She told me her and her husband were moving to Phoenix and were looking for a roommate. I thought about it.
February 2009- I applied for Phoenix Teaching Fellows, a teaching fellowship that requires three years of commitment, while teaching and getting a Master of Education
March 2009—PTF offered me an interview for middle school language arts and told me to start taking tests. Planned a road trip with Nate and Sarah to Phoenix to look at places and take my test.
Mid-March 2009—Got a phone call from PTF saying that all language arts positions had been filled and that I was now being considered for SpEd. I turned the position down but took the certification test anyway. It was too late to get any money back and it was an expensive test.
Next day—Started looking for something new to do. Applied for AmeriCorps.
Two days later—Heard from Sister Carmen who wanted to interview me for AmeriCorps in Phoenix.
One week later (Last week of March)—Drove with Nate and Sarah to Phoenix, took the certification test (passed), met Sister Carmen, found a place to live. I was placed at a school for AmeriCorps.
Fast forward…
July 2009- Move to Phoenix.
July 2009-September 2009-- Sorted things out. (Read: cried a lot.)
September 2009—Start volunteering at school.
September 2009- January 2010—Pull hair out due to frustration with position.
December 2009—Apply to Phoenix Teaching Fellows again.
January 2010—Apply to Teach For America because I want to really make a change and never checked the “interested in teaching special education” box. However, am now considerably less afraid of it.
February 2010—Offered a SpEd position with PTF again. Turn it down because I really wanted TFA.
February 2010- March 2010—Freak out about application and getting accepted and what if I just threw away a job?
March 2010—Got accepted to TFA. For SpEd. Happysad.
At present—I’m finally happy about it. I’m really excited to spend time with kids in SpEd classrooms. One of my friends let me lead a few lessons in her class. A few other teachers let me help them out during the day just to get more exposure. And I’m sure they wanted help. But I’m really excited. SpEd here is a little different than in other places. Given, there are a few self-contained rooms, which is where the students only have classes with each other. But there is a ridiculous amount of funding for SpEd in Phoenix. It comes out of a different fund. So there are at least two resource classes at any given elementary school in the area if they subscribe to that method. Students who are behind grade level are pulled out for four hours a day in order to be taught in a SpEd room. There is a large push toward inclusion, which is where a SpEd teacher and a general education teacher team-teach a class. I have my fingers crossed for one of these but will in no way be disappointed if I’m a resource teacher.
I guess this is what I’m meant to do. I am embracing that notion.
I’m at induction right now, which is the “fun” part of training for TFA. We’ve gone to lots of meetings and I haven’t been barefoot except for sleeping. And that one time I couldn’t handle it anymore. Today, I’m going to a round-up for the Glendale Elementary School District. Supposedly, about 90% of the people going today will get interviews and/or hired. Fingers crossed. I’ve already been chosen by the district. Now, I just need a principal to hire me.
Anyway, I think I’m going to go read that stuff I should’ve been reading since April… Or nap.
-Theresa
10 June 2010
04 June 2010
Awkward conversation starters
1. I can't hire you.
2. I've got good news and bad news and it's the same news.
3. Can I live in your house?
4. When is your boyfriend moving in with me?
1. I had an interview yesterday for a school I was getting excited to work at. I was finally excited to teach special ed because I'd be team teaching. The principal is amazing. It's a straight shot from my new apartment and only eight miles away. But another school district hired me about ten minutes before my interview would have started. I don't know what school or what subject but I'll be working at the Glendale Elementary School District. The furthest school from me will be twelve miles away. There's a glimmer of hope that I'll teach general ed instead of special ed. Either way, I'm glad that even though the principal at the school I currently volunteer at doesn't see that I could be an amazing teacher, an entire school district does, without even meeting me.
2. Jon got into med school. He'll be moving to Tucson by the end of July. Knowing that he was moving away, even though it's only two hours away, made me realize how much I actually like him.
3. I moved all my stuff and a bunch of other random stuff from other people into my new apartment. Institute for TFA is at ASU's campus and we have to stay there for about six weeks. I was going to move my stuff to storage but I know my new landlady so she let me move my stuff in, pay a security deposit (which I haven't yet done...) and officially start paying rent when I move in. Which will be the day before I officially start working at a school. So I'm staying with Jon's parents until Tuesday, which is when induction starts and TFA owns my soul, officially.
4. I'll have a new roommate next year. It's a friend's boyfriend. A little awkward. But he's moving here from D.C. and I didn't make enough friends this year. I considered living with another person from TFA since there's going to be a bunch of them moving out this way but decided against it. But I'm the kind of person who brings work home. And it would be bad to live with someone who did the same thing. I don't think I'd ever see the light of day again. Fortunately, my friend's place is much bigger than mine and they're going to have cable. So I'll probably have my own place. He's moving here the last week of August.
Once I start getting paid, I'm going to be taking more trips.
-Theresa
2. I've got good news and bad news and it's the same news.
3. Can I live in your house?
4. When is your boyfriend moving in with me?
1. I had an interview yesterday for a school I was getting excited to work at. I was finally excited to teach special ed because I'd be team teaching. The principal is amazing. It's a straight shot from my new apartment and only eight miles away. But another school district hired me about ten minutes before my interview would have started. I don't know what school or what subject but I'll be working at the Glendale Elementary School District. The furthest school from me will be twelve miles away. There's a glimmer of hope that I'll teach general ed instead of special ed. Either way, I'm glad that even though the principal at the school I currently volunteer at doesn't see that I could be an amazing teacher, an entire school district does, without even meeting me.
2. Jon got into med school. He'll be moving to Tucson by the end of July. Knowing that he was moving away, even though it's only two hours away, made me realize how much I actually like him.
3. I moved all my stuff and a bunch of other random stuff from other people into my new apartment. Institute for TFA is at ASU's campus and we have to stay there for about six weeks. I was going to move my stuff to storage but I know my new landlady so she let me move my stuff in, pay a security deposit (which I haven't yet done...) and officially start paying rent when I move in. Which will be the day before I officially start working at a school. So I'm staying with Jon's parents until Tuesday, which is when induction starts and TFA owns my soul, officially.
4. I'll have a new roommate next year. It's a friend's boyfriend. A little awkward. But he's moving here from D.C. and I didn't make enough friends this year. I considered living with another person from TFA since there's going to be a bunch of them moving out this way but decided against it. But I'm the kind of person who brings work home. And it would be bad to live with someone who did the same thing. I don't think I'd ever see the light of day again. Fortunately, my friend's place is much bigger than mine and they're going to have cable. So I'll probably have my own place. He's moving here the last week of August.
Once I start getting paid, I'm going to be taking more trips.
-Theresa
11 May 2010
I do as I please
And now, I'm on my knees.
I haven't felt this... Sad? Lost? Confused? I haven't felt this aware of my surroundings in a while. I miss it and I'm glad it's back but I wish it would go away. I feel haunted by the decisions I have and haven't made. What is it about me that leaves me unsatisfied so much of the time?
Oh, I know. The knowledge that I could be more, should be more and was meant for something better. That's what it is.
In so many ways, I've been lucky. I barely squeak by on a lot of things but I usually squeak by. I made it through high school and then college and at least I have a job. I don't know how many times I went for walks in the dark, let alone in broad (as broad as it can be in Michigan) daylight, alone. Drunk. Sober. Angry. Free. I made it back every time. I got to where I was going. Yes, I was stopped from time to time. Yes, I was followed a time or two. But I made it every time. I squeak by.
I'm sure that a few of you out there have received phone calls from me in some of my more... honest moods. And I'd tell you all the things that I was thinking but seemed crazy. My thoughts seemed too out there but too self-involved. I miss those conversations. Lately, I have those conversations in my head on the drive from here to there or somewhere else but nowhere important. I have these conversations with myself and folks, I give shitty advice. I sure am sorry if I've given you advice and you took it or considered taking it. Just don't listen.
I drink beer to improve my mind[...] to help mankind.
I wouldn't mind a night on the balcony with some beer, a guitar and a friend. I would love it. And then whoever is out there with me, we'd trade stories and tell each other what we really think of each other and talk in frankness and openness and it'd be the best night until the next night like that. I'm rarely at a balcony or a porch much anymore. The last words of honesty spoken to me were on a roof. If I take into consideration all the thoughts rolling around in my oddly tanned head, I'm not sure how important that roof will be.
I'm afraid to talk about the future because what if it's not there? What if I let myself down? What if... What if I never figure it out?
-Theresa
I haven't felt this... Sad? Lost? Confused? I haven't felt this aware of my surroundings in a while. I miss it and I'm glad it's back but I wish it would go away. I feel haunted by the decisions I have and haven't made. What is it about me that leaves me unsatisfied so much of the time?
Oh, I know. The knowledge that I could be more, should be more and was meant for something better. That's what it is.
In so many ways, I've been lucky. I barely squeak by on a lot of things but I usually squeak by. I made it through high school and then college and at least I have a job. I don't know how many times I went for walks in the dark, let alone in broad (as broad as it can be in Michigan) daylight, alone. Drunk. Sober. Angry. Free. I made it back every time. I got to where I was going. Yes, I was stopped from time to time. Yes, I was followed a time or two. But I made it every time. I squeak by.
I'm sure that a few of you out there have received phone calls from me in some of my more... honest moods. And I'd tell you all the things that I was thinking but seemed crazy. My thoughts seemed too out there but too self-involved. I miss those conversations. Lately, I have those conversations in my head on the drive from here to there or somewhere else but nowhere important. I have these conversations with myself and folks, I give shitty advice. I sure am sorry if I've given you advice and you took it or considered taking it. Just don't listen.
I drink beer to improve my mind[...] to help mankind.
I wouldn't mind a night on the balcony with some beer, a guitar and a friend. I would love it. And then whoever is out there with me, we'd trade stories and tell each other what we really think of each other and talk in frankness and openness and it'd be the best night until the next night like that. I'm rarely at a balcony or a porch much anymore. The last words of honesty spoken to me were on a roof. If I take into consideration all the thoughts rolling around in my oddly tanned head, I'm not sure how important that roof will be.
I'm afraid to talk about the future because what if it's not there? What if I let myself down? What if... What if I never figure it out?
-Theresa
10 May 2010
06 May 2010
Wish me luck
I know you think I'll need it.
I've come here with no real intention other than to write. My emotions are lacking. I don't have to sort them out because I know things now rather than feeling things. While I'm less crazy because of this, I'm not quite me. Being crazy has its downside but for the most part, it's how I've learned to function. And you know, it was working if we forget about all the crying jags and fear of driving. Okay, so it wasn't working. But I kind of liked the process of sorting through my emotions. It really helped me sort through things that did or didn't happen. But now, I just have facts and circumstances. How do I know what to feel if I'm not overwhelmed by emotion? I think what I'm saying is that... Well, I'm not sure what I'm saying. Maybe I'm just reflecting in a way I said I didn't much anymore.
Some humans ain't human.
I'm going to be a teacher. Weird. I couldn't even keep a third grader from stabbing a second grader with a pencil. Shit.
Seven or so months. And I understand what I've critisized for so long. Perfect? No. Good? Yes.
This post lacks a significant amount of profundity. I can't find it.
It's getting hot in Phoenix. The oranges have already blossomed and the fruit doesn't smell as sweet as the flower. I hate air conditioning. But I sure do love balconies. Regardless, I'd give up any pool to be by a natural water source. I often miss the life of a hippie. In all fairness, I'm rarely not barefoot.
It's funny: I feel that many of my emotions have been evading me but I constantly feel overwhelmed with guilt.
But I know, it'll be alright.
-Theresa
I've come here with no real intention other than to write. My emotions are lacking. I don't have to sort them out because I know things now rather than feeling things. While I'm less crazy because of this, I'm not quite me. Being crazy has its downside but for the most part, it's how I've learned to function. And you know, it was working if we forget about all the crying jags and fear of driving. Okay, so it wasn't working. But I kind of liked the process of sorting through my emotions. It really helped me sort through things that did or didn't happen. But now, I just have facts and circumstances. How do I know what to feel if I'm not overwhelmed by emotion? I think what I'm saying is that... Well, I'm not sure what I'm saying. Maybe I'm just reflecting in a way I said I didn't much anymore.
Some humans ain't human.
I'm going to be a teacher. Weird. I couldn't even keep a third grader from stabbing a second grader with a pencil. Shit.
Seven or so months. And I understand what I've critisized for so long. Perfect? No. Good? Yes.
This post lacks a significant amount of profundity. I can't find it.
It's getting hot in Phoenix. The oranges have already blossomed and the fruit doesn't smell as sweet as the flower. I hate air conditioning. But I sure do love balconies. Regardless, I'd give up any pool to be by a natural water source. I often miss the life of a hippie. In all fairness, I'm rarely not barefoot.
It's funny: I feel that many of my emotions have been evading me but I constantly feel overwhelmed with guilt.
But I know, it'll be alright.
-Theresa
22 March 2010
Screw California
And friends that are never there.
Important (relatively) bits of information and possible explanations:
I got into TFA. I'm going to be a teacher. I am so happy. I'm happy that I got it but more notably, I'm happy that I get to be a teacher. I think it's something I could love for the rest of my life. Summer training institute starts in June and after, I find out what school and grade I'll be teaching. I know this: I'll be teaching somewhere in K-8 Special Education in Phoenix or its surrounding areas. My hope is that I'll be a reading specialist. I'll be getting my Masters in Education from Arizona State University. I'm applying for loans and praying for grants. I'll be living in Phoenix for at least two more years.
I don't think I'll ever be a California girl. Well, maybe Northern California. But definitely not a city California girl. San Diego was nice to visit in December. San Francisco was as I left it three years ago: not for me. Carmel was absolutely amazing. It's the type of town I could see myself living in were I to write a fictional tale of my life. Water and natural beauty and art and grass for my toes and a breeze.
I've been in a relationship for just over six months now. Things are going well. We don't use the love-word, which is okay with me because I scare easily.
My hearing isn't what it used to be since getting an ear infection a couple years ago. I'm starting to fear that I'll go deaf as I get older and not be able to enjoy music as much. My dad is starting to.
I'm still not sure where I belong. By becoming a teacher, I think I'm on the right path. While the weather is nice during the winter, I'm not sure Phoenix is the place for me. Any guesses on where the place for me is?
-Theresa
Important (relatively) bits of information and possible explanations:
I got into TFA. I'm going to be a teacher. I am so happy. I'm happy that I got it but more notably, I'm happy that I get to be a teacher. I think it's something I could love for the rest of my life. Summer training institute starts in June and after, I find out what school and grade I'll be teaching. I know this: I'll be teaching somewhere in K-8 Special Education in Phoenix or its surrounding areas. My hope is that I'll be a reading specialist. I'll be getting my Masters in Education from Arizona State University. I'm applying for loans and praying for grants. I'll be living in Phoenix for at least two more years.
I don't think I'll ever be a California girl. Well, maybe Northern California. But definitely not a city California girl. San Diego was nice to visit in December. San Francisco was as I left it three years ago: not for me. Carmel was absolutely amazing. It's the type of town I could see myself living in were I to write a fictional tale of my life. Water and natural beauty and art and grass for my toes and a breeze.
I've been in a relationship for just over six months now. Things are going well. We don't use the love-word, which is okay with me because I scare easily.
My hearing isn't what it used to be since getting an ear infection a couple years ago. I'm starting to fear that I'll go deaf as I get older and not be able to enjoy music as much. My dad is starting to.
I'm still not sure where I belong. By becoming a teacher, I think I'm on the right path. While the weather is nice during the winter, I'm not sure Phoenix is the place for me. Any guesses on where the place for me is?
-Theresa
01 March 2010
In time, she's beautiful
If you hold her back, she may never know.
My goodness, time does fly.
It's March. MARCH. What happened to the misery of August? Man, am I glad that misery is gone. In seven days I find out the judgement of TFA. In one week, I find out what I am or am not doing for the next two years of my life. Or my whole life, I suppose.
The interview went decently. I think I did well on the teaching portion of it. I taught about the difference between the three types of triangles (equilateral, isoseles, scalene) in five minutes. That's not very much time. I thought that went pretty well though. I had practiced a million times. The individual interview wasn't terrible but I'm not ever sure how I do. I only got confused by a question once. I hope that doesn't hurt me. The fact that I'm in the type of schools they send new teachers to and I want to stay there says a lot, I think. TFA thinks too, I think. AmeriCorps pays very little and I put in quite a bit of time. I haven't worked less than fifty hours a week since December. I have my fingers crossed. The first thing I'm going to do is look for housing. And then I'm going to make a new budget. Well, I'll probably drink a few clebretory beers here and there. If I don't get in, I'll be drinking a few consolatory beers. And I'll be trying to figure out what to do next. A second year of AmeriCorps never killed anyone, right?
If I get in, it's Phoenix, Denver or the Bay Area. I considered a few other places but I guess I settled for those. I haven't lived in Phoenix long enough to love or hate it. I'm not sure I actually want to live in the Bay Area. I think we all know my feelings on Denver.
The rest:
Five months and counting, it seems.
I cooked for ten hours on Saturday and I'd do it again in a second.
I regularly drive on the freeway but still drive more than an hour a day.
TFATFATFATFATFATFATFA.
There isn't a feeling I haven't eaten in the last few months.
I miss sleeping through the night.
And feeling rested.
Stephanie comes to visit in a week.
Justin and Natalie come to visit 8 April.
SUPER EXCITED.
FATFATFATFATFATFATATFAT.
Thyroids are stupid.
So are strange skin discolorations.
How do you define settling?
I would drink anything out of a mason jar.
-Theresa
My goodness, time does fly.
It's March. MARCH. What happened to the misery of August? Man, am I glad that misery is gone. In seven days I find out the judgement of TFA. In one week, I find out what I am or am not doing for the next two years of my life. Or my whole life, I suppose.
The interview went decently. I think I did well on the teaching portion of it. I taught about the difference between the three types of triangles (equilateral, isoseles, scalene) in five minutes. That's not very much time. I thought that went pretty well though. I had practiced a million times. The individual interview wasn't terrible but I'm not ever sure how I do. I only got confused by a question once. I hope that doesn't hurt me. The fact that I'm in the type of schools they send new teachers to and I want to stay there says a lot, I think. TFA thinks too, I think. AmeriCorps pays very little and I put in quite a bit of time. I haven't worked less than fifty hours a week since December. I have my fingers crossed. The first thing I'm going to do is look for housing. And then I'm going to make a new budget. Well, I'll probably drink a few clebretory beers here and there. If I don't get in, I'll be drinking a few consolatory beers. And I'll be trying to figure out what to do next. A second year of AmeriCorps never killed anyone, right?
If I get in, it's Phoenix, Denver or the Bay Area. I considered a few other places but I guess I settled for those. I haven't lived in Phoenix long enough to love or hate it. I'm not sure I actually want to live in the Bay Area. I think we all know my feelings on Denver.
The rest:
Five months and counting, it seems.
I cooked for ten hours on Saturday and I'd do it again in a second.
I regularly drive on the freeway but still drive more than an hour a day.
TFATFATFATFATFATFATFA.
There isn't a feeling I haven't eaten in the last few months.
I miss sleeping through the night.
And feeling rested.
Stephanie comes to visit in a week.
Justin and Natalie come to visit 8 April.
SUPER EXCITED.
FATFATFATFATFATFATATFAT.
Thyroids are stupid.
So are strange skin discolorations.
How do you define settling?
I would drink anything out of a mason jar.
-Theresa
31 January 2010
So can we take the next hour
and talk about me?
I've made it through the first two rounds for Teach For America. I submitted my essays and application and whatnot and then I got a phone interview. In eleven days, I have my final interview to go to. I'm excited and a little scared. The three sites I have listed as number one are Phoenix, Denver and the Bay Area. There are more places I would love to go but I ended up choosing those. I'm getting anxious trying to prepare. I really want this.
I've never really had an easy time making decisions. I think I'm getting better.
I'm getting the itch to start traveling again.
I love gardening.
And being barefoot.
The future doesn't seem intimidating. Just a little daunting.
I'm hardly a grown-up.
-Theresa
I've made it through the first two rounds for Teach For America. I submitted my essays and application and whatnot and then I got a phone interview. In eleven days, I have my final interview to go to. I'm excited and a little scared. The three sites I have listed as number one are Phoenix, Denver and the Bay Area. There are more places I would love to go but I ended up choosing those. I'm getting anxious trying to prepare. I really want this.
I've never really had an easy time making decisions. I think I'm getting better.
I'm getting the itch to start traveling again.
I love gardening.
And being barefoot.
The future doesn't seem intimidating. Just a little daunting.
I'm hardly a grown-up.
-Theresa
04 January 2010
Last night,
I couldn't sleep. A year ago, I wouldn't.
I had all these crazy dreams and now I can't seem to remember them. I would wake up at random times with a sudden urge to be doing something else--anything else. But now, it's just kind of tapping me on the shoulder. My urge to do something bigger is not silenced but it is muffled for the time being. Maybe because I'm doing something kind of big by volunteering for a year. More likely, because I'm making better choices and working toward something.
I am five hundred words away from submitting my Teach For America application. They capitalize the "f" in for and shouldn't. That's all I think of when I see it written out. That and how much I want to be part of the program.
I thought about the pants I wore last New Year's Eve. I changed out of them this New Year's Eve even though my ass fits in them so much better now. I want a new start. I guess there was just something too symbolic about wearing those pants to enter into two different new years. What is it about the first of every year that gives people the delusion that things will change the second the clocks switch over? Whatever it is, it's magical and I kind of like it. Goodbye, 2009. Joyful doesn't accurately describe what it was like seeing you go.
As much as I didn't want to come to work this morning, I'm very thankful to be here. Here at work, in Phoenix and at this point in my life. I've learned quite a bit, I'm sure. Could I tell you what? Probably in a carefully worded essay. But not yet. Not really. I'm not sure what I've learned. Just that I've learned something. And not after making mistakes this time. That's new for me.
Resolution: Don't make promises you (I) can't keep.
-Theresa
I had all these crazy dreams and now I can't seem to remember them. I would wake up at random times with a sudden urge to be doing something else--anything else. But now, it's just kind of tapping me on the shoulder. My urge to do something bigger is not silenced but it is muffled for the time being. Maybe because I'm doing something kind of big by volunteering for a year. More likely, because I'm making better choices and working toward something.
I am five hundred words away from submitting my Teach For America application. They capitalize the "f" in for and shouldn't. That's all I think of when I see it written out. That and how much I want to be part of the program.
I thought about the pants I wore last New Year's Eve. I changed out of them this New Year's Eve even though my ass fits in them so much better now. I want a new start. I guess there was just something too symbolic about wearing those pants to enter into two different new years. What is it about the first of every year that gives people the delusion that things will change the second the clocks switch over? Whatever it is, it's magical and I kind of like it. Goodbye, 2009. Joyful doesn't accurately describe what it was like seeing you go.
As much as I didn't want to come to work this morning, I'm very thankful to be here. Here at work, in Phoenix and at this point in my life. I've learned quite a bit, I'm sure. Could I tell you what? Probably in a carefully worded essay. But not yet. Not really. I'm not sure what I've learned. Just that I've learned something. And not after making mistakes this time. That's new for me.
Resolution: Don't make promises you (I) can't keep.
-Theresa
13 November 2009
My Birthday was Two Days Ago.
And this is my 100th post.
I know I think this every year for every age, but I don't know what twenty-four is supposed to feel like. So far, it's better than twenty-three. So far, it's different.
Twenty-three gave me these gifts:
Two road trips
The Avett Brothers
Surgery
Eight bloody months. (Gross, I know.)
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis
New Year's Day
Hives
Loneliness
Marita (Although, I suppose that was 22)
An AmeriCorps position
Sadness
Acceptance
Celexa
Self-Reliance
Justin and Natalie
A boyfriend
Zombieland
Visits from Triina
Twenty-three was a bitter sweet year. My birthday party was a concert. I fear that most of the people at that party are people I may never see again. But that's growing up, isn't it?
Twenty-Four has given me these gifts so far:
No cold until after my birthday
A growing support system
A boyfriend's parents
Potential road trips
Two upcoming Avett Brothers shows
A visit to come from Stephanie and my sister
A growing like for Phoenix
People who let me down less than I let myself down.
I know I have more to learn and experience. I'm aware of that. But Twenty-Four has so much more promise than Twenty-Three ever did. Shortly before leaving Kalamazoo, I took an informal survey of about ten people. All of them said that twenty-three was a bad year. In no way am I glad to hear that I'm not the only one.
Dear friends,
I still miss you.
-Theresa
I know I think this every year for every age, but I don't know what twenty-four is supposed to feel like. So far, it's better than twenty-three. So far, it's different.
Twenty-three gave me these gifts:
Two road trips
The Avett Brothers
Surgery
Eight bloody months. (Gross, I know.)
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis
New Year's Day
Hives
Loneliness
Marita (Although, I suppose that was 22)
An AmeriCorps position
Sadness
Acceptance
Celexa
Self-Reliance
Justin and Natalie
A boyfriend
Zombieland
Visits from Triina
Twenty-three was a bitter sweet year. My birthday party was a concert. I fear that most of the people at that party are people I may never see again. But that's growing up, isn't it?
Twenty-Four has given me these gifts so far:
No cold until after my birthday
A growing support system
A boyfriend's parents
Potential road trips
Two upcoming Avett Brothers shows
A visit to come from Stephanie and my sister
A growing like for Phoenix
People who let me down less than I let myself down.
I know I have more to learn and experience. I'm aware of that. But Twenty-Four has so much more promise than Twenty-Three ever did. Shortly before leaving Kalamazoo, I took an informal survey of about ten people. All of them said that twenty-three was a bad year. In no way am I glad to hear that I'm not the only one.
Dear friends,
I still miss you.
-Theresa
23 October 2009
Yesterday was Zac Hanson's birthday.
So, it's about that time. You know, where I start to feel a little guilty for not having updated in awhile. More, I feel guilty for not having written in a little while. Sort of. Here's an up to date list of truths:
I don't hate Arizona nearly as much as I used to.
This has largely to do with the fact that I started working.
And I have friends now.
One of those friends happens to be my boyfriend.
Yes, it weirded me out to actually write that.
I still don't know what I want to do with my life.
My job is getting better with each day because I've asked for stuff to do.
I'm not sure the thyroid medicine is working but the crazy pills certainly are.
I haven't cried in over a month.
The last time I could say that was a long time ago.
My range of emotions is fairly limited at this present time.
I'm not sure I really like that.
I'm really glad that I've made myself be a person who tries to make the best of every situation.
Do I want to be a teacher?
The high temperatures were in the eighties for a week and it was perfect.
I wish I could run my toes in the grass.
The winter grass is growing but it still houses roaches.
I met my first scorpion a few days ago.
I still don't like them.
There are multiple cases of the flu (regular and swine varieties) at my school.
I haven't changed anything I do for that.
I love probiotics.
I still miss my scattered friends.
The friendships I have cultivated here lack a certain amount of depth.
I still don't know how to be in a relationship.
I've become one of those people that stops to say hello to every dog I meet.
Before acknowledging the owner.
I've driven on the freeway quite a few times now.
Alone (not following anyone and with no one else in the car) too.
These schools make me sad.
These kids deserve better.
I'm tired all the time.
In fact, I wish I was asleep right now.
But all in all, my life is pretty good right now.
And I believe I'm making the most of it.
-Theresa
I don't hate Arizona nearly as much as I used to.
This has largely to do with the fact that I started working.
And I have friends now.
One of those friends happens to be my boyfriend.
Yes, it weirded me out to actually write that.
I still don't know what I want to do with my life.
My job is getting better with each day because I've asked for stuff to do.
I'm not sure the thyroid medicine is working but the crazy pills certainly are.
I haven't cried in over a month.
The last time I could say that was a long time ago.
My range of emotions is fairly limited at this present time.
I'm not sure I really like that.
I'm really glad that I've made myself be a person who tries to make the best of every situation.
Do I want to be a teacher?
The high temperatures were in the eighties for a week and it was perfect.
I wish I could run my toes in the grass.
The winter grass is growing but it still houses roaches.
I met my first scorpion a few days ago.
I still don't like them.
There are multiple cases of the flu (regular and swine varieties) at my school.
I haven't changed anything I do for that.
I love probiotics.
I still miss my scattered friends.
The friendships I have cultivated here lack a certain amount of depth.
I still don't know how to be in a relationship.
I've become one of those people that stops to say hello to every dog I meet.
Before acknowledging the owner.
I've driven on the freeway quite a few times now.
Alone (not following anyone and with no one else in the car) too.
These schools make me sad.
These kids deserve better.
I'm tired all the time.
In fact, I wish I was asleep right now.
But all in all, my life is pretty good right now.
And I believe I'm making the most of it.
-Theresa
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