Why can't I get you out of my head? Fields and fields. Empty and full. And all I can think of is you. It's not fair. It's not fair because I can guarantee without a doubt that the sentiment is not mutual. Please. Stop.
I'm tired and all I did was ride as passenger in my own car. I mean, I did it on two hours of sleep and I navigated. Apparently, I'm not in a good mood. Shit.
I can't remember the last time I had a hug. Weeks, maybe. I have to tell you, watching a married couple function in close proximity hurts. It hurts a bit more when they ask things like "What's it like to be single?" and "Is it hard for you to be single?" And you know, I don't think it's the single. It's the feeling of loneliness I can't seem to shake. It's the overwhelming feeling of being meaningless I can't seem to escape.
Melodramatic much?
If I called you right now, you wouldn't be obligated to answer.
Maybe I should just go to sleep, huh? Tomorrow, we drive the last nine hundred miles to Phoenix, AZ. I will meet up with Triina, see my mom's best friend and interview for a position I can't really afford to take. Or not take.
Why couldn't I just have the teaching job? I think I would be able to accept it more if I had at least had a chance to interview. But I didn't. And now I'm whining. And you're not reading anyway. So I'm not going to apologize.
I will continue to be the person that I am: always striving to be better. Nothing can change that. No one will change that. I don't want that to change.
The sunsets you drive into are always the most beautiful.
-Theresa
3 comments:
At first I thought the title of your post was Elk City, Okay (OK). Apparently working in the lab makes you think things like that. Now, that being said, here are actual comments:
1. I would be bummed too, if I was stuck in close quarters with a married couple. Whenever I hung out with my taken friends, all I could think of was how I'm the only single person in the room. Sometimes I would interchange single with virgin. Depression would ensue.
2.I played Michael Beauchamp on my show yesterday.
2a. Have you heard of Charlene Kaye? She has a pretty voice.
3. I wish you the best of luck in your quest for life and happiness.
Aren't you so glad that's not how I write?
1. Ugh.
2. Awesome.
2a. No, but I will look her up soon. Also awesome.
3. Thanks, friend.
i feel as though you're so far away. because you are, of course, but what i mean is that i wouldn't see you anyway but it still feels like you've left. :(
i know what you mean about being around couples. even ones i don't know (like if i'm waitressing) make me feel so lonely.
on a happier note, thanks for your birthday call! it really made me smile :D see?
kensey
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