15 March 2009

Please, pick one.

If you deciphered from my last post, all of the positions I was going to interview for in Arizona have been filled. They don't need anymore English teachers. I was offered the option of changing my focus to Special Education. I said I would consider it. Here's the thing: I can see myself as an English teacher. I can taste it. The idea of getting a Masters of Education with a focus on language was so endlessly thrilling that I feel like I'm settling for a job with Special Education. Those students deserve someone who wants to be there. Besides, if I do Special Ed, I would have to get my Masters in Special Ed in addition to passing the teacher certification test. I have a few options, I think.

1. Go for Special Education. This would require a three year commitment to Phoenix Teaching Fellows and to getting a Masters in Special Ed. In the future, it seems it would make sense to continue to work in the area I would have my degree in. Otherwise, it's a waste of money on a degree.

2. Take the English certification test anyway and call to see how long it will last for (the certification). If I pass, I'm going to see if I can reapply to the PTF program the following year. After all, I have a degree in English.

3. Move to Phoenix, go to ASU and get my Masters of Education without going through PTF. Work part time.

4. Substitute teaching?

5. Move to Phoenix and look for a new plan. This would happen regardless of whether I get a job before going or not.

6. Apply to jobs everywhere again and go where I get a job, regardless of the fact that I might be going alone.

7. Pick somewhere. Move. Settle.

8. Reader's choice. Be specific.

You know what's not an option? Staying in Kalamazoo. Or Michigan as a whole.

The catches lie here: I got the phone call about them filling the position on Friday. I was wallowing in self-pity (as you may have glossed over) and so I didn't read the follow-up email until the next morning. Well, that was stupid because, apparently, I had to change my certification test. And, of course, the last day to do that was Friday. Registering to take the test was $105. In the grand scheme of things, that's not very much. But that represents about ten percent of my current monthly income. I would hate to throw away a potential future. Or $105. I'm calling Monday morning to see what I can do about that and see if the test will still be good later. If it is, I'm going to call PTF and see what the process of reapplying would look like. Also, if I don't go through PTF and I do decide to get my Masters degree anyway, I would have to pay out of state tuition.

I'm just disappointed. It was the first time in a long time that I was really excited about something. I wasn't just settling and I was going to go for it. And I wanted to. I really wanted to. I had reservations. But I always do. I have until 10 August to figure out the next year now. I have about ten days to figure out what I'm going to do in Arizona while I'm there.

Allow me to reiterate: staying in Kalamazoo is not an option.

Hey, friend? Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm meant to stay here and help you.

I asked my current roommate. She said she'd consider randomly moving somewhere with me. I'm not sure it'll happen. The thing is, when I moved to Kalamazoo, I moved alone. I did okay, I guess. But I don't really need to do that. I'm not really running away from anything this time. But maybe I need a fresh start and should do it again. We'll see. I've been sending resumes out again. I'm going to try to do at least one a day. But damn, that's a lot of cover letters.

Anyway, tell me your thoughts, please. Encouragement, criticisms, insight, more choices... Whatever. I need the feedback, I think.

Thanks, friends.

-Theresa

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