20 February 2009

The thing about rainy days

Is that they just drag you down. You follow each rain drop like you think you're supposed to. All of the sudden, you're being sucked down a drainage hole like it's where you belong. The news? It's not where you belong. The world's residue belongs there. Each of us as individuals might be made of things we don't want to be made of but we are not residual. We belong here.

I belong here. I belong Home.

قلبي بيتي

I forgot. How could I forget? I'm the only one looking at my back. Looking for it. You will have the option of watching it go. Because I've decided to. Go, I mean. I've decided to go regardless of whether I get the teaching job. If I have to work at a Starbucks, I will do it. If I have to figure something out with the university there, I'll do it. It will be where Home is. There, I must follow.

There are no grand gestures or glowing signs leading the way. You just have the take the steps forward. I have to take the steps forward. I will not be sucked down. I've been inscribed on because the words there are true. My words are true. I've always looked for subtleties. I should continue to do it. Though, I wouldn't mind a grand gesture on my way out of here. It just wouldn't be my direction. It wouldn't be Home.

This Home here? It's growing. It's always ready to take more in. Take more on. I hope that remains true.

It's snowing today.

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