Saturday, November 26, 2011

I'm 26 now. I keep forgetting when I dream and tell myself I'm still 25 and in my mid-twenties instead of my mid- to late-twenties.

I found a church I think is worth returning to. I had to move over a box when I checked off my age and it reminded me that I'm now 26-34 and not 18-25.

I believe that the fact that I have no real friends out here is directly related to the fact that I've accepted that I have no family. The world is trying to tell me that you can't have one without the other, apparently.

Her body is back, yes. Well, most of it. But she's gone and we let her go. I'm partially responsible for not being... a sister or friend or willing to be responsible. But I'm still angry.

This AND that.

This year, I'm miserable teaching. I don't know if it's that I'm miserable or if it's the teaching. It could have something to do with the shooting. Next year, I can't teach kindergarten in Arizona anymore. So I have to choose one of these: 1. Stay in Arizona and teach a different grade. 2. Leave Arizona and teach any grade K-8. Or community college, I suppose. 3. Stay in Arizona and look for different jobs. 4. Leave Arizona and look for different jobs.

I won't be home for Christmas because I have no home. I will, however, be in Phoenix.

I'm looking for something to hold onto. Freeing. Welcoming.

In the darkness, there is still light. This post, though alarmingly pertinent, make me laugh every time I read it and read it again.

I can do anything.

Road Trip 2011

Is now in the works. I don't know where I'm going or who with but I know it's happening. The last day of school is 25 May. My last day of work is 26 of May. I don't think I have any obligations until the very last week of July. And I'm not even sure about that. I put half of my tax return into savings and have planned ahead for an oil change.

That being said, I'm looking for places to go and stay and see and remember. If I go alone, those places are going to be a lot closer together.

Any suggestions?

-Theresa

If Teaching Doesn't Work Out

1. I would love, love, LOVE to work for Sesame Street. I checked. No job openings. I loved that show as a kid. I love it now. It would still be in the realm of education. I mean, I'd probably feel guilty because I wasn't really closing the achievement gap but I don't feel like I'm doing that right now anyway. Just think about it. How cool would that be?

2. I wouldn't really love it because well, I hate driving so much, but I would be a pretty awesome designated driver. I DD'd last night and it was kind of great. I don't actually enjoy getting drunk unless I completely trust the people I'm around. Which doesn't happen often. But man, I'm an awesome DD. I let my designated drinkers pre-game. Then, we went to a house party where there was a fire. I love me some fires. I could just stand there and stare at it instead of having to make small talk. (And no wonder I don't have any friends.) Then, I packed too many people into my car and drove them to the bar. Because I was sober, I could totally use that as an excuse to not dance AND no one looked cute so I didn't leave feeling defeated. Afterwards, I drove my designated drinker around looking for an open drive-thru even though I had to be awake early this morning. But I didn't order anything because even though I was hungry, nothing sounded OMG ssoooooo good. I'd say I made a great life choice last night and now, a potential future.

I'm Yours

if you want me.

And that seems to be the problem. I've been listening to this mix I made (title: On a Last Night) for someone I once thought I knew. It's just full of these songs that I can't help but sing along to and feel alive when hearing. Twenty-five songs full. Stuck in my head--in my life--is this song by Chris Thile. It just says everything. It's amazing. But do you know what would make it perfect? If it's a song someone wishes I would hear and think of him. And that's the problem with my music. As in, the music I listen to. It's so full of meaning. It means so much to me. So much that I want to share it. I want to share the message I've heard and felt and can't articulate any better, try as I might. It's so full that I want to share it. And so I do. And I share what it means to me. Or try to.

But as much of a problem as that is, the real problem is that I'm the one giving away songs and meanings and intentions like the ones in the songs I breathe by. I'm just giving it away. No one needs to question my intentions and my thoughts because I'm just laying it all out on the line. And for a while, I thought it was refreshing to have a person like me in my life. But now I'm thinking that maybe it's really annoying. It might be frustrating. It might be... emasculating. I mean, that's just if I'm being full of myself. I just think back to all those books I felt obligated to read when I gave into guilt and obligation. And I won't link to them but my goodness, don't read a book that's written for women by a woman AND her husband if you don't want to go crazy(ier). Because you might say things like this: Those stupid books that I didn't want to read but can't let go might be onto something. Maybe they were right about men wanting to pursue women. That we needed to make it a little easier on them by not moving so much. By not having our own lives and not being... real individuals. That we need to play those stupid games where the rules get hard to keep track of. Because otherwise, all you might end up with is playlists on a medium that may eventually become obsolete professing your belonging to another person who might have skipped over the track because he didn't like the key the song was written in.

Or something like that.

I'm not sure it's something I'm willing to change yet. But maybe I shouldn't wear my heart on my sleeve so much. Or maybe I should wear it on my sleeve but try to quit trying to give it away so much. I keep thinking there's got to be someone out there for me. But maybe there isn't.

And maybe that's okay. As long as Sarah Dessen keeps writing for the rest of my life.

And I say that in jest and not really so much in jest. I don't want to be alone. But that's what I am and I should make the most of it. So I will try.

-Theresa

Five Eternally

When I was five, the summer before first grade, I was a kindergarten teacher. I played school. While the other little girls began promising themselves in sickness and in health to boys in polygamous relationships marked by rings forged of grass, I tried to trap kids in the basement. I was the Sphinx of Marshall St. Anyone who wandered into the maze of our front lawn was ushered down the stairs and into my mother's castaway seating--desks. I pulled out my materials--forgotten items from around the house and toys that had taught my older brother how to read. I didn't have the skinny chalk like my teacher did but my parents wanted to encourage my creativity and time outside, but not too far, so I had an arsenal of sidewalk chalk. Cousins and old classmates became each others peers as I took my place in front of the row of chairs. I took out my chalk and my easel and began deliberately practicing my name and urged others to practice their own. If I had had the choice, I would have spent my summer in that basement, teaching. However, my class rebelled. My arranged marriage was to be held the next day. We would draw the aisle on the cement in the backyard with my classroom chalk. My dreams of teacherdom would be focused down a different path. The next day, I was to be married to my best student with handwriting better than mine, who had already been married the day before.

I am going to be a kindergarten teacher. My formal training for the school I will be at will start on Monday. I don't think I could be happier.

-Theresa

Awkward conversation starters

1. I can't hire you.
2. I've got good news and bad news and it's the same news.
3. Can I live in your house?
4. When is your boyfriend moving in with me?

1. I had an interview yesterday for a school I was getting excited to work at. I was finally excited to teach special ed because I'd be team teaching. The principal is amazing. It's a straight shot from my new apartment and only eight miles away. But another school district hired me about ten minutes before my interview would have started. I don't know what school or what subject but I'll be working at the Glendale Elementary School District. The furthest school from me will be twelve miles away. There's a glimmer of hope that I'll teach general ed instead of special ed. Either way, I'm glad that even though the principal at the school I currently volunteer at doesn't see that I could be an amazing teacher, an entire school district does, without even meeting me.

2. Jon got into med school. He'll be moving to Tucson by the end of July. Knowing that he was moving away, even though it's only two hours away, made me realize how much I actually like him.

3. I moved all my stuff and a bunch of other random stuff from other people into my new apartment. Institute for TFA is at ASU's campus and we have to stay there for about six weeks. I was going to move my stuff to storage but I know my new landlady so she let me move my stuff in, pay a security deposit (which I haven't yet done...) and officially start paying rent when I move in. Which will be the day before I officially start working at a school. So I'm staying with Jon's parents until Tuesday, which is when induction starts and TFA owns my soul, officially.

4. I'll have a new roommate next year. It's a friend's boyfriend. A little awkward. But he's moving here from D.C. and I didn't make enough friends this year. I considered living with another person from TFA since there's going to be a bunch of them moving out this way but decided against it. But I'm the kind of person who brings work home. And it would be bad to live with someone who did the same thing. I don't think I'd ever see the light of day again. Fortunately, my friend's place is much bigger than mine and they're going to have cable. So I'll probably have my own place. He's moving here the last week of August.

Once I start getting paid, I'm going to be taking more trips.

-Theresa

Phoenix, AZ (Part Two)

I guess I neglected this for a bit. I guess I'm okay with that. I'm back in Kalamazoo for the time being. These are the facts:

I wrote my essay for my position for Americorps while drinking.
I was offered an interview and a position in the same day.
Pending a background check, I have a position with Americorps.
I signed an application for an apartment in Tempe, AZ.
The moving truck leaves Kalamazoo 20 June.
I might already have a subleaser in Kalamazoo.
Even though I know I could, I don't want to share a room until I'm married.
I'm scared to go.
Even though we're moving in June, the Americorps position doesn't start until September.
I'm going to get a part time job and then keep it while volunteering.
My dad didn't seem disappointed in my decision to take a low paying position.
I still really hate driving.
I should look into the possibility that Xanax might improve my daily life.
You're reading this so you know I'm moving. Otherwise, I don't think I'm going to advertise the fact.
That's not to say it's a secret.
I don't know why I even said that.
Do I need to put in a two month's notice?
I'm a little nervous too.
Right now, I'm tired.

-Theresa

Please, pick one.

If you deciphered from my last post, all of the positions I was going to interview for in Arizona have been filled. They don't need anymore English teachers. I was offered the option of changing my focus to Special Education. I said I would consider it. Here's the thing: I can see myself as an English teacher. I can taste it. The idea of getting a Masters of Education with a focus on language was so endlessly thrilling that I feel like I'm settling for a job with Special Education. Those students deserve someone who wants to be there. Besides, if I do Special Ed, I would have to get my Masters in Special Ed in addition to passing the teacher certification test. I have a few options, I think.

1. Go for Special Education. This would require a three year commitment to Phoenix Teaching Fellows and to getting a Masters in Special Ed. In the future, it seems it would make sense to continue to work in the area I would have my degree in. Otherwise, it's a waste of money on a degree.

2. Take the English certification test anyway and call to see how long it will last for (the certification). If I pass, I'm going to see if I can reapply to the PTF program the following year. After all, I have a degree in English.

3. Move to Phoenix, go to ASU and get my Masters of Education without going through PTF. Work part time.

4. Substitute teaching?

5. Move to Phoenix and look for a new plan. This would happen regardless of whether I get a job before going or not.

6. Apply to jobs everywhere again and go where I get a job, regardless of the fact that I might be going alone.

7. Pick somewhere. Move. Settle.

8. Reader's choice. Be specific.

You know what's not an option? Staying in Kalamazoo. Or Michigan as a whole.

The catches lie here: I got the phone call about them filling the position on Friday. I was wallowing in self-pity (as you may have glossed over) and so I didn't read the follow-up email until the next morning. Well, that was stupid because, apparently, I had to change my certification test. And, of course, the last day to do that was Friday. Registering to take the test was $105. In the grand scheme of things, that's not very much. But that represents about ten percent of my current monthly income. I would hate to throw away a potential future. Or $105. I'm calling Monday morning to see what I can do about that and see if the test will still be good later. If it is, I'm going to call PTF and see what the process of reapplying would look like. Also, if I don't go through PTF and I do decide to get my Masters degree anyway, I would have to pay out of state tuition.

I'm just disappointed. It was the first time in a long time that I was really excited about something. I wasn't just settling and I was going to go for it. And I wanted to. I really wanted to. I had reservations. But I always do. I have until 10 August to figure out the next year now. I have about ten days to figure out what I'm going to do in Arizona while I'm there.

Allow me to reiterate: staying in Kalamazoo is not an option.

Hey, friend? Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm meant to stay here and help you.

I asked my current roommate. She said she'd consider randomly moving somewhere with me. I'm not sure it'll happen. The thing is, when I moved to Kalamazoo, I moved alone. I did okay, I guess. But I don't really need to do that. I'm not really running away from anything this time. But maybe I need a fresh start and should do it again. We'll see. I've been sending resumes out again. I'm going to try to do at least one a day. But damn, that's a lot of cover letters.

Anyway, tell me your thoughts, please. Encouragement, criticisms, insight, more choices... Whatever. I need the feedback, I think.

Thanks, friends.

-Theresa

Fuck you, 2009.

I had hopes for you. I had dreams. And you've managed to piss them all away. You're like a dramatic comedy. You sucked me in with the part about the comedy. I always think they're not going to be as dark as the last one or that the comedy will far outshine the drama. That is never the case and I never learn.

2009, you've set up everything for me and gradually took it away. The first day I spent with you seemed like a dream. I should have known better.

Here are some ways you have let me down:

1. My health is in general disarray. Have you and Body joined forces?
2. I am as alone as ever and reminded of it almost every day.
3. You made it clear that I no longer belong in Kalamazoo. Or Michigan.
4. All of the seventh and eighth grade language arts positions in Phoenix, AZ are full. My interview is not for two more weeks.
5. My haircut is stupid.
6. The Last House on the Left.

But before you let me down, 2009, you tend to present an opportunity and then take it away. On 1 January, 2009, every single thing on that list had promise, except for maybe number 4. I didn't know about the positions yet. (And I knew number six was going to suck but man, that sucked way more than I thought it would. Don't even bother.) There seemed to be potential for happiness. Joy, even. I've got to tell you, it's heartbreaking. It hurts to be teased like that. It hurts to see the potential of something good right in front of you and watch it disintegrate and be able to do nothing about it. There is a way to feel good and it's eluding me.

I tried, 2009, to do what I could. I'm only two and a half months in and I want a new year. Things are supposed to be better. Our president isn't a complete sack of shit. I'm a college graduate. The country I live in is impoverished but it's all its own fault. My roommate is great. But dammit, I don't want to be here anymore. I can't be here anymore. I've got to get out of here.

I'm so disconnected, I don't know what to do. I don't know who to be or how to be. And I am selfish.

How do you think I would fare as a special education teacher?

2009, I am not only not impressed: I am disappointed, hurt and broken.

-Theresa

The thing about rainy days

Is that they just drag you down. You follow each rain drop like you think you're supposed to. All of the sudden, you're being sucked down a drainage hole like it's where you belong. The news? It's not where you belong. The world's residue belongs there. Each of us as individuals might be made of things we don't want to be made of but we are not residual. We belong here.

I belong here. I belong Home.

قلبي بيتي

I forgot. How could I forget? I'm the only one looking at my back. Looking for it. You will have the option of watching it go. Because I've decided to. Go, I mean. I've decided to go regardless of whether I get the teaching job. If I have to work at a Starbucks, I will do it. If I have to figure something out with the university there, I'll do it. It will be where Home is. There, I must follow.

There are no grand gestures or glowing signs leading the way. You just have the take the steps forward. I have to take the steps forward. I will not be sucked down. I've been inscribed on because the words there are true. My words are true. I've always looked for subtleties. I should continue to do it. Though, I wouldn't mind a grand gesture on my way out of here. It just wouldn't be my direction. It wouldn't be Home.

This Home here? It's growing. It's always ready to take more in. Take more on. I hope that remains true.

It's snowing today.

Here's hoping.

I've been doing a lot of apartment cleaning lately and I love it. I can't tell if I'm burned out in general or if I'm burning out on certain things but the cleaning helps. The roommate is gone for a few more days. I am looking for a subleaser so I can pick asparagus in May.

Arizona plans are under way. We're going to schedule times to look at apartments while we're out there. But scorpions are gross. In my head, they are like cockroaches that inflict paint. Yeah, think about that one for a minute.

I'm really, really ready for this next phase in my life where I have a big kid's job and I feel like I'm accomplishing something. I've been feeling rutted for far too long.

My favorite place to be is inside of a hug. I'd buy the land if I could. It's an added bonus when your head sits perfectly on top of mine. It's a perfect way to breathe a person in, I think.

With each passing day, the fingers on my left hand look more gross. I couldn't be happier about it. Actually, I could. I'd be happier if my ability as a guitar player came naturally.

I wish I had a mango tree

In my backyard.

Soon here, it might be an orange tree.

Today's thoughts or whatever:

I have been invited to interview for the fellowship in Phoenix.
I can't get the song Mango Tree by Angus & Julia Stone out of me.
While looking up the MySpace link for them, I realized that they are going to be playing in Phoenix with Brett Dennan while I'm in Arizona the second time.
I'm going to Arizona with the people I would be moving with on 28 Feb until 6 March.
We're taking my car.
I would have to go back again on 29 March for an interview. I think I will spring for the plane ticket.
I might pick some asparagus.
I'm always amazed at how things turn out, good or bad.
I am worried that things are working out too well for the Arizona thing.
Since trying to play guitar, I pay more attention to strum patterns and it makes me love songs even more.
I like that I still love music and appreciate it more now than when I was in band in school.
I wish I could understand what happened.
I still miss you.
What if I don't get the position?
The calluses on my left hand don't look gross yet.
I am making it my goal to cross things off my proverbial life list. This year.
I'm not sure what I want. But I know that whatever it is, I don't want it alone.

Interview?

Yeah, I got one.

Arizona or bust?

How did that happen?

Some friends are moving to Phoenix, AZ and invited me to move with them. Already, the job market is remarkably better than Michigan's. I'm almost done applying for an Americorps teaching position. We'll see.

I've been internalizing a lot lately. I really want to ask the questions I want answers to. But the last time I did that taught me not to. So here I am stuck, wondering.

I've written a few poems. I think they're trash. I've learned a scale and I'm working on chord progressions next.

Minimalism. Okay.

I'm just trying to get an understanding. Does it seem odd that anyone "just" anything? To be or do just whatever is a strange concept.

Oh, hours at my school job were cut and then brought back so I don't have to go looking for another part time job in Kalamazoo. On the bright side, it did light a fire under my ass and got me to revamp my resume. It almost looks good now.

You don't have to love me. It's okay. I think I'm supposed to figure this one out on my own.

My ear hurts.

Won't You Write the Verses on my Palm

Home for Christmas. I'll be back in Kalamazoo on Tuesday. Just in time to bring in the new year with people I'll probably not finish it with.

I made this mix for my family:

1. Violent Femmes- American Music
2. Paul Baribeau- Ten Things
3. Coldplay- Violet Hill
4. Iron & Wine- Boy With a Coin
5. Neutral Milk Hotel- In the Aeroplane Ove the Sea
6. Page France- Finders
7. John Mayer- Victoria
8. Rocky Votolato- Uppers Aren't Necessary
9. Sufjan Stevens- For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti
10. Nickel Creek- Doubting Thomas
11. Obadiah Parker- Hey Ya
12. Chris Bathgate- Sun Moon
13. The Weepies- Can't Go Back Now
14. The Corn Fed Girls- Pearlie
15. The Avett Brothers- Murder in the City
16. Ray Lamontagne- Empty
17. Format- On Your Porch
18. Eef Barzelay- Lose Big
19. Death Cab For Cutie- I Will Follow You Into the Dark
20.Foo Fighters- Home
21. The Avett Brothers- Will You Return
22. Sufjan Stevens- Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

I was going to put links to videos and stuff so that you'd listen to it. But I'm not going to. I have the songs. You should look for them. Every song is worth it.

Let's see... I'm thinking of applying for Teach for America. I haven't decided where to apply for. And I'm not even sure that I'll get in. I think they usually take people who have just graduated. But we'll see. I'm just excited to be working toward something.

I'm going to get healthy and stop being such a chubby lumpkins. I'm sure this sounds like a new year's resolution, but it's not. It's something I've wanted to do for a while and I've finally gotten the motivation to do it. I think I'll be happier and healthier and those things can't hurt. I'm making a functional work out schedule for myself that should be fun. I bought Dance Dance Revolution for Wii. I think that's a good start. I'm also going to curb my drinking a bit. Oh, and the eating. But I want to be healthy and reasonable about things.

That might be it for right now. Yeah.

-Theresa

But I have never been much of a drinker

and at this bar, they don't serve herbal tea.

I'm at Water Street Coffee Joint right now. Drinking tea, as it were. I visited home this weekend. It had been a while and I hadn't been home for Thanksgiving in four years. I should have just waited for Christmas.

I wasn't feeling well. Good thing I'm having some relatively invasive (for me) tests done soon, huh? Once this whole health thing is sorted out, I'll be pleased. Or less annoyed. At the very least, I know my mood will change. I was overwhelmed when I was home. The questions of what I want to do and what I will do seem unending. And I never have a good answer because I don't know. It got to be too much when it turned into "if you don't get a job soon, all that time and money you spent learning will go to waste." And maybe they mean well but I don't think it's necessary to throw one's shortcomings in one's face. Not when that shorter-than-preferred individual is your daughter. I cried a little, slept a little and got over it. I talked to my dad about that for a while. And he told me that my feelings of inadequacy are from within me and nowhere else. Well, it's a good thing he knows I'm crazy. Otherwise, that would have been awkward.

Right, I never really updated about the doctor. I'm not sure how much detail I really want to go into on this thing. Um. I was put on antibiotics for the cough because the allergy medication hadn't done anything. I just finished my five day "Z pack" and am still coughing. It's not as bad as it was one week ago and I suppose that's all I can really ask for. As far as other health issues go, I have to get a few tests done. One of those tests is an allergy test, which shouldn't be too bad. They will only be drawing blood to check. Good. I didn't want a million itchy pinpricks anyway. It's the other test I'm a little worried about. I'll be getting a call in about a week to set up an appointment for that. Not. Excited.

Perhaps because of the conversation with my dad or the general displeasure I've had with my life, I've decided to get off my ass and do something. I will plan my future. At least parts of it. And I will do it. I'm going to start actually looking at real jobs and potential graduate schools again. Really. And I realize what I need is not someone to tell me what to do, no. What I need is encouragement to suck it up and keep going until I figure out what will make me happy. And then I'll need a kick in the ass to do it. If you're reading, consider this your commission to do so. Please.

In general, I think I'm a person who needs encouragement when things get tough. Not always, I think. Just when I think I can't do something. Lately, that's been often. Lately, that's been more often than I care for. More often than I care to mention. I don't really have a newfound sense of self. I just want to get off my ass and be the person I know I can be. The person I want to be. I'm sure this sounds like something I've said or written before. And I might do nothing about it. But I'd prefer not to. Thus, I will do something. I feel something moving and I'm going with it. I'd like to think it's more than just a change in the wind's direction. Even if it isn't more than that, I'm moving anyway. And I feel a little closer. And I feel a little more disconnected.

Getting home and back was a series of unfortunate events followed by fortuitous events (read: blessings). I was going to take the bus home. I bought a ticket and everything and my roommate took me to the station at five in the morning. The bus drove by and I was propositioned by a Devonne. (I will elaborate in a moment.) I call my roommate and she picked me back up at six when I realized the bus wasn't coming back. I slept until nine when my dad texted me. This resulted in my trying to get on the phone with Greyhound and not succeeding. I did manage to wake up my roommate's boyfriend, however. He peeked in my room and asked if it was Detroit that I was trying to get to. (It was.) And was I having any luck? (I was not.) As it turns out, his parents were headed right that way. He made a phone call but there was no answer. So I got back into bed. A moment later, they called back and asked if I had any other options. (Okay, I could have driven but I've been a serious nervous wreck lately. Really, it was not an option.) He told his parents no without really waiting for my response. Yeah, so they turned around and were at my apartment within ten minutes, ready to take me, a girl they've never met before, to the other side of the state. My dad picked me up at a freeway exit near our house. On Saturday, a winter storm advisory was issued (rightly so) and my dad wanted me to get a train ticket back. The ticket was sixty-two dollars and I just wanted to make absolutely sure. As I was getting ready to type in a credit card number, I get a message from my friend Julia and call her back. In the midst of our talking, she mentions her friend Laura doesn't live far from where my parents are and could probably pick me up and take me back. As it turns out, she can, and does. Laura is a really great person. That all being said, I got to Detroit and back to Kalamazoo safely. Although, I suppose you already knew that since I ranted about being home earlier.

The short story of Devonne(s) (dεvIn) in my life is this: (And, yes, I have changed the spelling.) I attract a certain sort of male. The first one I really told friends about was named Devonne (total assumption as far as spelling goes) and the tradition lives on. One Devonne tried to pick me up at a job interview. Another one used the fact that he had a baby mama named Theresa as his bait. The interaction with Devonne at the bus station went as such:

(I had just gotten off the phone with my roommate and she was on her way to pick me up.)

(D)evonne: (Stares at me for a solid minute) Are you cold?
(T)Me: (Staring straight ahead and make no eye contact whatsoever) A little.
(D): Are you from around here?
(T): No. (Yes, I know that's a lie.)
(D): Where are you from?
(T): Detroit. (Where the bus is going!)
(D): I know a place that's warm.
(T): (Blank stare.)
(D): It's only about a block from here.
(T): (Pause.) No thanks.
(D): (Walks away, shouting about not going far from the station.)

Man, was I glad when my roommate showed up. I would like to point out that the main reason this interaction counts as a Devonne interaction is that I had not spoken to this person and gave him no reason to do so. Also, he fits all the other criteria. But I suppose I can go into that later. I've written quite a bit. I've got to get to calling a friend.

And please forgive me if I leave you feeling uninspired.

-Theresa