I hate Facebook.

Yes, I said it.

Facebook and Myspace, neither of those two networking sites are reasonable facsimiles for a real friendship. Yes, the connections made and acknowledged are made with what the websites calls "friends." But I have to say, these websites have bastardized the meaning of friendship. It's no longer necessary to call a friend and see how she is doing. In fact, I can not speak with a person for a year and still know the everyday happenings of his life. And I can call that a friendship if I want to.

I tell people that the reason I am on Facebook so often is that I sit in front of a computer for forty hours a week and wait to help people. That is true. That is also an excuse. I use Facebook because I am just as much of a voyeur as everyone else. But I also like being able to stay connected with people I normally would not have. I like that it's an easy way to get a hold of someone. But again, the connections made and kept do not a friendship make. I am just as offended or hurt, in some cases, as other are when someone deletes me or blocks me. I have gone through my list of contacts and deleted people I have never met or couldn't remember meeting. There was no point in keeping those lines of communication open.

I hate Facebook.

I have wasted too much time pouring over the daily, one-line musing of people I barely know. I want real friendships. Since when, in a real friendship, can a person decide to delete you? No, memories fade and people drift but in real relationships with people, there is no "delete" button. And I liked it better that way. As much as I don't like confrontation, I don't necessarily mind doing it. I mean, there's something to be said for severing all ties but I've always been the kind of person to let people know why. I have stopped talking to people and I have cut people out of my life. If those people are honest with themselves and honest with you, they know exactly why. It's because real lines of communication are open. Whatever the consequences, I choose honesty. Whatever the outcome, I choose to try to be a better person than I am.

The thing about me is that I don't like to be angry or at odds with people. People do shitty things, myself included, and deserve forgiveness. Don't get me wrong, I am not stupid. Well, maybe I am. But if someone say, constantly asks to borrow money and doesn't return it, I learn. That person is not a wise person to loan money to. But I do not want to stay angry with that person. I'm sure there are people out there who think I hate them or am holding something against them. It's just not true. I sometimes take time to "cool off" if I am angry but I prefer to choose forgiveness. I prefer to be on good terms. I prefer to try.

I like talking to people. I like having conversations. I like the tangible aspects of relationships like hugs and a note that is written using pen and paper. I like being given the opportunity to clarify confusion. I don't mind how awkward some conversations can be. I love that I can tell what a person means based on body language and vocal inflections. Facebook doesn't provide those things. Facebook provides a forum we can attend in order to maintain connections with people that are too many steps removed from what healthy relationships are. Facebook is a perversion of what friendship should be.

I choose to make and keep my friendships and other relationships real.