To be better,

one must work to be better.

This isn't a new year's resolution. It's sort of a life resolution. I've always tried hard to make myself a better version of... myself. Lately, I've just been bitching about how things aren't right. Given, I did a lot of that bitching in my head. Regardless, it's easy to forget how in control of my life I can be. So, I'm taking control.

Instead of...

Complaining I have no friends, I'll be a better friend to those in my life.
Wishing I was organized, I'll get organized.
Wanting people to call me, I'll call people.
Hoping someone will strike up a conversation with me, I will strike up a conversation.

These are simple, natural conclusions to come to. Jesus, why didn't I come to them sooner?

Things I've decided to do:

Sleep when I'm tired
Smile more
Not cancel plans
Be the friend I want others to be to me
Be unflinchingly honest
Unabashedly read teen fiction
Embrace Phoenix. For the time being.
Worry only about things it will do good to worry about
Stop. Fucking. Projecting.
Write back

And so, I'm still the same crazy, curly-haired being you may or may not know. But again, I've turned a page. Same story. Different chapter. These might be my favorite parts of my life--the parts where I can see the change in myself. It may be a little self-serving. But hey, I've kind of got to love the person I am. I shouldn't expect others to if I don't.

-Theresa

Wha?

I know I haven't updated in awhile. I sort of fell off the face of the earth and it was intentional. I started to feel like I was letting too many people down. Chances are, I let down a few people every day. Actually, a few people plus my entire class. But really, I knew that I just hadn't had enough stuck-in-my-head time lately. The time I spend just hanging out with myself thinking about who I am and what I like about me and what I don't like and what I can do to change it. I think I'm feeling a bit better. Not like my readership of two people, maybe, were disappointed. ;)

I just wanted to let you know that I've resurfaced. And I'm happy. And that nap today helped. And 2011? It's really going to be mine. I'm just trying things I've never done before and it's paying off.

Hey, how do I feel about the Air Force?

-Theresa

I think I'm a grown-up.

Crap.

I bought a car. I know things about financing and credit and other fancy, old-sounding crap like that. And I DON'T LIKE IT.

So, I'm twenty-five. I (will) own my car. I'm working on a salary, full time. I like reading more than drinking. I worry about my regularity. I've been talking to an insurance agent about my options. There's no two ways about it: I'm a grown-up.

I never thought it would happen.